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What a relief

Journal Entry: Fri Apr 11, 2008, 8:53 PM
  • Mood: Hopeless
  • Listening to: The voices in my head
  • Reading: My erotic fantasy stories
  • Watching: The Phantom of the Opera
  • Playing: with myself? O_o;
  • Eating: Hunger
  • Drinking: Thirst
Okay, I'm not good at Journals, but here it goes...

Umm.... I don't think that its very obvious, but I am bisexual... there is only one reason why I would say that I am not full blown lesbian, and I would like to keep that reason to myself.

Well, one of the reasons I don't do these is because I would write very personal things, and if I wrote these, then quite a lot of people on here would be heartbroken. Sorry, Cassie, this means you.

But those who would be crushed have to know this.

I confessed my bisexuality to my mother the other night. I am going to fight the fact that I might just be lesbian for personal reasons. Please, this is not something that I want taken as a sign that it is alright for you to hit on me. I just... The only reason that I am bisexual is because I love a girl who is very close to me.. who has a boyfriend (and this guy also happens to be alright with the fact that I am in love with his girlfriend). But... I won't say who it is. Just... whoever does know me in person has to assume that I don't love them romantically.

I am sorry for who this hurts. I wish I could change it to say that I am in love with a normal guy who has no girlfriend to speak of and who loves me too. I really do wish I could say this.

But... I cannot. I hope you can understand my dilemma.

No, I don't need help. No, I don't need reassurance. No I don't need anyone to try and tell me that it is alright for me to talk about this problem, because I have talked about my problems to too many damn people and I just want it to stop now. Please, stop trying to make me talk.

I won't get better. For as long as I love her, I cannot and will not get better... Not until she is mine and even then... *sigh*

Being half tempted to throw this out, I won't because too many people need to hear how much I don't want my life to continue like this, where everyone misunderstands me because you would have to be a genetic duplicate, and experience every single thing I have experienced, and you would basically have to be me... and no one can, except for me.

I'm truly sorry. But I am just so relieved that so many people, though they do not understand me, they accept me as a bisexual female who is in love with the closest friend she has ever had.... a friend who can never love her back the same way... it seems that all of my romances happen that way... too bad I'm not in a movie. I would make millions.

As always.

Devious Information

  • Current Age: seventeen
  • Current Residence: Minnesota
  • Interests: drawing
  • Favourite movie: Good Will Hunting
  • Favourite band or musician: Barenaked Ladies, now and forever.
  • Favourite genre of music: Rock, but I like everything
  • Favourite artist: Leonardo di Vinci, Akira Hayase
  • Favourite poet or writer: David Eddings, Neil Gaiman
  • Favourite photographer: none
  • Favourite style of art: Manga, but I like everything
  • Favourite game: Tetris (and ddr)
  • Favourite gaming platform: x-box, game boy coming to a close second.
  • Favourite cartoon character: Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
  • Personal Quote: "Kick the can, kick the can, nice can...."
  • Tools of the Trade: Pen, pencil, eraser, google, and photoshop

deviantART Notice

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Devious Comments

*exileddelusion:iconexileddelusion: May 26, 2008, 11:13:38 AM
Thanks very much for the watch :3 keep it up with your comic works! They look awesome!
~Talik13:iconTalik13: Apr 28, 2008, 7:20:10 PM
thx for the :+fav:!!

--
"Stones are raw, they blunt my paw. But things you say will never hurt me." -Kar (from "The Sight" )
~bunnymagi:iconbunnymagi: Apr 28, 2008, 5:46:36 PM
thanks for the :+fav: ^_^

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(\ /)silly (enter name of person) trix are for whores!
(. .)
~augipaw:iconaugipaw: Apr 16, 2008, 8:05:55 PM
Thank you for the watch! :o
~Sephrenia0110:iconSephrenia0110: Apr 10, 2008, 10:09:55 AM
Psh, your stuff deserves it!

--
If you hurt me, I'll cry. If you hurt my friends, I'll get mad. If you hurt my family, I will kill you.
~Sephrenia0110:iconSephrenia0110: Mar 15, 2008, 9:39:26 AM
Ya, shore, you betcha'.

*Minnesotan/Scandinavian talk for "Thanks"*

--
If you hurt me, I'll cry. If you hurt my friends, I'll get mad. If you hurt my family, I will kill you.
~nuchnin:iconnuchnin: Mar 13, 2008, 10:26:46 AM
Thanks for the fav:)
*Frephrep:iconFrephrep: Mar 4, 2008, 3:45:41 PM Mood: Wow!
thankue! <33 xD

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gave my number to the boy with guns
My only regret is that I have Boneitis..
~DragonLarme:iconDragonLarme: Mar 2, 2008, 6:24:20 PM
Thanks for fav and comment, always apreciate that!

--
Dragon... not lizard. We ain't doing that toungue-thing!

If you find somebody who's even stranger than you are, then you can see yourself as being normal.

I take the whole responsibility for what I say, but not for what you hear.
~Fenomena:iconFenomena: Jan 23, 2008, 5:42:22 AM
Thanks for the watch! :D
~douglasyancyfunnie:icondouglasyancyfunnie: Dec 24, 2007, 7:17:16 PM Mood: Joy
merry christmas and a hap hap happy new year! :D

--
bloob bloob

See my gallery at Zazzle
~douglasyancyfunnie:icondouglasyancyfunnie: Dec 11, 2007, 7:51:36 PM Mood: Joy
and thank you kindly for the add!

--
bloob bloob

See my gallery at Zazzle
~douglasyancyfunnie:icondouglasyancyfunnie: Dec 11, 2007, 7:50:39 PM Mood: Joy
can't wait for the rest of the comic. keep em coming. oh and i LOVE calvin and hobbes!

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bloob bloob

See my gallery at Zazzle
~Sephrenia0110:iconSephrenia0110: Dec 8, 2007, 12:29:22 PM
O: I foundz you too!

(owo)

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If you hurt me, I'll cry. If you hurt my friends, I'll get mad. If you hurt my family, I will kill you.
~Joss-Box:iconJoss-Box: Dec 4, 2007, 4:12:29 PM
Hey Katie!!! I found you!!!
~darkhavenprincess:icondarkhavenprincess: Oct 2, 2007, 3:47:04 PM Mood: Love
ur welcome

--
there is nothing either good or bad,
but thinking it makes it so
-William Shakespeare