~Sephrenia0110

Okay, I'm not good at Journals, but here it goes...

Umm.... I don't think that its very obvious, but I am bisexual... there is only one reason why I would say that I am not full blown lesbian, and I would like to keep that reason to myself.

Well, one of the reasons I don't do these is because I would write very personal things, and if I wrote these, then quite a lot of people on here would be heartbroken. Sorry, Cassie, this means you.

But those who would be crushed have to know this.

I confessed my bisexuality to my mother the other night. I am going to fight the fact that I might just be lesbian for personal reasons. Please, this is not something that I want taken as a sign that it is alright for you to hit on me. I just... The only reason that I am bisexual is because I love a girl who is very close to me.. who has a boyfriend (and this guy also happens to be alright with the fact that I am in love with his girlfriend). But... I won't say who it is. Just... whoever does know me in person has to assume that I don't love them romantically.

I am sorry for who this hurts. I wish I could change it to say that I am in love with a normal guy who has no girlfriend to speak of and who loves me too. I really do wish I could say this.

But... I cannot. I hope you can understand my dilemma.

No, I don't need help. No, I don't need reassurance. No I don't need anyone to try and tell me that it is alright for me to talk about this problem, because I have talked about my problems to too many damn people and I just want it to stop now. Please, stop trying to make me talk.

I won't get better. For as long as I love her, I cannot and will not get better... Not until she is mine and even then... *sigh*

Being half tempted to throw this out, I won't because too many people need to hear how much I don't want my life to continue like this, where everyone misunderstands me because you would have to be a genetic duplicate, and experience every single thing I have experienced, and you would basically have to be me... and no one can, except for me.

I'm truly sorry. But I am just so relieved that so many people, though they do not understand me, they accept me as a bisexual female who is in love with the closest friend she has ever had.... a friend who can never love her back the same way... it seems that all of my romances happen that way... too bad I'm not in a movie. I would make millions.

As always.